Bodily Discomfort-Its Not Just Trans People Who Feel It
How Focusing on Gender Dysphoria Minimizes Body Dysmorphia Among The General Population
How many times have you looked into the mirror and been disappointed, saddened, and sometimes even disgusted by what you see? Unfortunately, for most if not all of us the answer is often! For both men and women but with greater intensity for girls it is very common to feel uncomfortable and ashamed of our bodies. For us women, we are expected to look young but not too young, be skinny but not too skinny, sexy but not slutty, have large but also perky breasts and behinds, naturally beautiful faces and figures but enhanced ever so gently with makeup. We are expected to be pleasing to the male gaze in standards that are nearly impossible to achieve. For those few who do happen to achieve the seemingly impossible, this is fleeting as we ALL succumb to the perils of age.
Feeling uncomfortable with our bodies is a natural and normal process of life. It becomes especially evident as we make the transition from childhood into puberty. This time can be very confusing and even frightening for many young people as they move from being just children to beginning their journey toward adulthood. It is important during this time that kids know it's OK and normal to feel apprehensive. And we should ensure kids feel supported and safe with their changing body. It can be especially scary for girls who have to contend with not only a starkly changing body but also new found attention from boys and men sometimes from much older men, which is a scary prospect.
Recently we have seen a rise of gender dysphoria in kids. We’ve seen an unprecedented 5,000% increase in teens over the past 10 years! And although body discomfort is VERY common among young kids, this is something completely different. Gender dysphoria is real and some people do genuinely feel that they were born in the wrong body. But studies show that over 80% of dysphoric kids do eventually get comfortable with their changing body. However there is a growing movement from the political left to not let these kids grow out of their discomfort like BILLIONS have done before them, but to push them toward irreversible procedures that will affect the course of their lives forever. From hormones to surgeries these VERY profitable interventions are being pushed with little data, little to no talk therapy, and as we frequently hear, no debate.
Obviously we should ALL be compassionate and kind to each other no matter how we identify. And we should all be sympathetic to the suffering of others, especially young adults and teens. I can't imagine what having gender dysphoria must be like, to feel as if your body is not a true reflection of you and have constant discomfort. However, feeling discomfort in one's body is not exclusive to trans people. And it's important that we normalize discomfort with our bodies and accept that it's OK to not be happy with your body and even sometimes feel extreme distress.
Women and girls especially often feel VERY uncomfortable with their bodies. We’ve often heard that those of us who accept our bodies or ‘cis’ people as they call us are ‘comfortable and happy’ with our bodies and this is just not true. One study found 91% of women are unhappy with their bodies and only 5% are actually able to naturally achieve the standard of beauty portrayed in the media! We’ve known that body image is a problem for us all but especially for women and girls. Studies show that social media has devastating effects on the self confidence of girls. And sadly suicide has doubled in young girls since 2007.
I can honestly say I haven't felt totally comfortable or happy with my body since I was a child. As early as I remember I’ve ALWAYS been uncomfortable with my body and societal expectations that come with having a female body. As I get older this discomfort gets more intense. To a certain extent all of us have body discomfort and it only gets worse with age. Some UK doctors are seeing an ‘epidemic’ of body image disorders in older people. As we age it can be difficult to make peace with the declining body we see staring back at us in the mirror.
Once women reach a certain age, our value within society seems to be significantly diminished as the preference is for young women. Once women reach age 40 many begin to feel invisible. As unfortunate as this is, this is a fact of life driven by sexist ideals of what women are or should be and biological processes as men are often more attracted to younger more fertile women. And this attraction is directly tied to the societal value a woman often has. Women who are considered unattractive whether due to nature or the aging process are also treated by society not as well as younger more attractive women. This is a fact of life which is unlikely to ever change.
Bottom line is feeling discomfort is not abnormal nor reserved ONLY to trans people, as is currently portrayed in the media. We greatly discount all those who suffer various forms of body dysmorphia (such as eating disorders) and body image problems by suggesting this. All of those who feel body discomfort should be heard and have access to quality treatment if needed. It's time to recognize that discomfort is normal and does not necessarily require medical treatment. It shouldn't be frowned upon or forbidden to have frank discussions with licensed professionals about how and why we feel bodily discomfort! In fact prior to having major body altering interventions, its probably worth at least one discussion with a therapist. Which as we know is currently discouraged as part of ‘gender affirming care’. Let's work toward body acceptance or body neutrality first and allow medical interventions to be the last option rather than the first and let profits and politics take a backseat especially with kids!